A bridesmaid can always break the bank – Times News Online

Published on February 18, 2022 at 10:35 p.m.

Dear Jacqueline,

One of my closest friends is getting married next year and she asked me to be bridesmaid. I haven’t committed yet because I’m worried that all the expenses of being a bridesmaid will weigh heavily on my budget. I don’t want the stress of overspending to strain our friendship. How can I avoid going broke as a bridesmaid?

Dear reader,

Being a bridesmaid is a special and increasingly expensive experience. Costs typically include clothing, hair and makeup, bachelorette party, and shower and wedding gifts. It’s easy to rationalize overspending on this important event. The reality is that the expenses add up.

Consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your friend before committing. Expressing gratitude for inclusion is the first and best reaction

Before you say “Yes”, have an honest conversation about exactly what your role will entail and what costs you can expect.

You might say something like, “I’m so happy for you and I’m so glad you asked me. I would like to hear more details about the wedding plans before giving you a definitive answer.

Very few people have the luxury of an unlimited budget. It’s a fact of life, so don’t be ashamed to make sure you can afford to participate. If your friend asked you to be part of the ceremony, they love you and will understand your concerns and your final decision.

Be prepared to make choices. Let him know in advance what you can afford. You may need to pass on some events in order to be there for the important ones.

It’s important to be there for your friend, but it’s also essential to monitor your results. Your friendship will last longer if you are not bitter about taking a financial hit.

Respectfully yours,


Have a question? Email: [email protected] Jacquelyn Youst is the owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, which specializes in etiquette training. She sits on the board of the National Civility Foundation.

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